are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
