I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
