wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
