she was so not down for the gang bang
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
