Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
