Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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