gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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