He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
