i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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