I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
