Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
