I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm just crazy horny about you
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
