Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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