There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
My liver just had a heart attack.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
