WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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