I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Every concussion has its silver lining
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
