Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
