I'm lost and stupid without you.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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