i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
