At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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