TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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