we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
