and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Man, jail baloney is awful.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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