So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
