How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
