Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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