she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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