wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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