break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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