If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
