you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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