I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
