Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Mom said you looked used
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
