What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Randomize
