Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Dicks are not precious.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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