We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
