so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
