At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize