So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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