Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
