idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I love having hate sex.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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