a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
