Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
