I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
