dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
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But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I love you.
Bad choice
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