I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
