I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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