woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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