your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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