I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
