What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
40s are totally the cure
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
