What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
