I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
