Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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