I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
