I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
