just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize