the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
We have started to decorate penises.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
