The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
