This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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