First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
