I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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