i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
