i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
