YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
