You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
