I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
