sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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