he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
